I had a couple of pretty good months – up and out of bed most days, able to clean and cook and take walks. I’m always so encouraged when there is obvious movement in the right direction.

I start to think about how life might change if I can go back to work and do more things with my family like kayaking and hiking and having friends over for BBQs. What if I can finally clean my house top to bottom? What if I can create a backyard haven? What if…

Those hopes feel completely crushed when I crash.

It doesn’t take much – an hour in a moldy environment, a highly stressful situation, or a simple cold (that’s what got me this time).

I don’t just catch a cold – the virus triggers the different tickborne diseases which actively start attacking my body. Yep – they’re still there! I can feel them in the bottom of my feet when I walk (like stepping on burning nails). I can feel them in my muscles and bones. I can feel them in every joint and behind my eyes. I can feel it when I try to walk and everything sort of fades to black so I have to sit down.

When I’m down, I tell myself this is temporary. I remind myself that healing is NOT linear. I won’t just improve – I’ll move forward and then get set back – but there will be forward movement again!

A roller coaster does 2 things – it rises and it falls. Sometimes it goes into a loop but even that’s just a rise followed by a fall. When we rise, we anticipate the fall – we wait for it, watching carefully to see the peak so we can brace ourselves for the drop on the other side.

I really need to anticipate the fall. It’s good to be up – it’s good to have hope – but if I’m not watching for the peak, I’m so shocked when everything suddenly drops.

Where are you on your healing journey? Are you stuck in bed or are you having good days? Are you somewhere in between? Wherever you are – stay focused on the good and remember that there is either a rise or a fall coming. Don’t let it catch you off guard. And if it is a fall, don’t let it steal your joy.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:8-9