This page houses all of my posts from the beginning. If you’re looking for something specific, try searching below.

  • The start of a blog!

    I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out something clever to say for my first blog post and I finally decided I’d just start with – “This is my blog”. My husband encouraged me to start this for 2 reasons: 1.)  To create a record of my illness journey 2.)  To share with others our…

  • My symptomatic journey

    About 8 years ago, I began a journey that has led to the start of this blog. I love to write, but that’s not the only reason I’m here. Over the last year, I have seen a lot of doctors trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. I’ve scoured the internet researching and looking…

  • 5

    My mind swirled all day with things I wanted to write.  I tried to put my thoughts down on paper (well, on Word) but it just didn’t come together quite the way I meant it to.  The one thing about this sickness that frustrates me the most is the brain thing – the fog, the…

  • Feb 25 – Low Back Pain

    There are 3 specific pains that can send me to the ER. Headaches – these are bad – narcotics don’t touch them – they usually only relieved by an IV cocktail of steroids, benedryl and a couple other meds. Neck pain and stiffness – while this is typically accompanied by a headache, it is very…

  • Doctors Don’t Know

    A couple months ago, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like I needed to throw up. As I made my way to the bathroom, I began to feel dizzy – more like drunk, even though I’d had no alcohol or medication. I returned to the bedroom and began to feel intense…

  • Shots!

    About 8 years ago, one of our horses was injured and needed daily medication, which included shots twice a day. Guess what – doctors don’t come give shots to horses twice a day. They leave the medication with the horse’s owner, who then gives the horse the shot. So – I pulled up my big…

  • Doctors and Science – All Bad?

    Yesterday, I shared some of my frustration about doctors. I want to be clear that I don’t think doctors are bad. But I do think we put them on pedestals. We expect them to have answers – not just some answers – all the answers, all the time. This really isn’t fair given the complexity…

  • General Practitioners

    A General Practitioner (GP) is a doctor who doesn’t specialize specifically in one area. Basically, they know a little bit about a lot of things, but they don’t know a lot about anything thing…”Jack of all trades, master of none”. Instead, he or she is sort of the front line for daily health issues and…

  • God is Still God.

    I will frequently post the phrase “God is still God. God is still good.” I wanted to share with you where that came from. Years ago, when I was struggling with pain and didn’t have answers or direction, I sought God begging Him for help. The response came through these videos below. To many, I…

  • Waiting for Positive

    I was sharing a video with my husband last night made by a guy whose wife had been sick for several years with an unknown illness. She suffered so much – enduring severe pain that would cause her to pass out. Lots of tests provided no answers. Doctors told them that her symptoms were psychological…

  • Wasted Time

    As humans, we have an innate desire to move forward – in life, in relationships, in career, in traffic (especially in traffic). When we feel like we are at a standstill (or worse, moving in the wrong direction), we have a tendency to get a little, well, freaked out. I try not to dwell on…

  • 40 Years

    People in the bible talk about 40 years as if they’ve forgotten how long a day can be As we were reading Joshua this morning and discussing the children wandering thru the desert, I was struck with a new pain that completely stopped me from functioning. The first thing I realized was that the upper…

  • Do Not Be Discouraged

    Thomas Edison and his associated worked on 3,000 different theories using at least 10,000 different types of material to develop an efficient incandescent lamp (which heats a thin strip of material – called a filament – until it gets hot enough to glow). He stumbled across an idea one day and began testing carbonized filaments…

  • Listen

    “If you listen long enough, the patient will give you the answer.” Sir William Osler Have you ever said (or heard) the words: “I told you several times, but you did not listen”? There is a distinct difference between hearing – and listening. To hear something is to perceive sound – your brain acknowledges the…

  • Sufficient for Today

    James Dean said: “Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today”. I love this because it is a reminder to me that whatever is going on in my life, I need to hope for the future, but live for the blessings of today. If you’ve been to my house Christmas morning,…

  • Strength, Peace, Love and Joy

    I have had some rough days (and especially nights) lately with intense pain throughout my entire body and muscle weakness that has made it difficult to walk at times. The last 2 days have been “not horrible”, which is a huge blessing but I tend to push through what pain I do have to get…

  • Angels and Herxing

    “To them it was revealed that, not to themselves, but to us they were ministering the things which now have been reported to you through those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven—things which angels desire to look into.” 1 Peter 1:12 Angels are among us. I feel…

  • Mayday Protest

    On May 22 and 23, Lyme disease supporters will be protesting in front of the IDSA (Infectious Disease Society of America) building in Arlington, VA in an effort to raise awareness about chronic lyme disease and fight for those suffering with the disease to gain critical medical attention they need.  (For more information on the…

  • Friendship is good for the soul

    Today I was visited by a very sweet friend who made me feel a little bit normal for a little while. I never forget the pain and numbness, but somehow, there are times when things feel a little more normal than others. That was my time with her. She made me laugh so much –…

  • Laughter is the best medicine. (Or is it?)

    As a Christmas gift, our kids gave us tickets to see Jeff Dunham in concert. The show was this last weekend and I have a hard time traveling lately so I was sort of dreading the 2 hour drive to Sac. A few norco’s, a good nap, and a charming driver/date made the trip well…

  • Lyme Disease: Did You Know?

    Lyme disease is the fast growing vector-borne, infectious disease in the United States.  Surprised?  Many people I talk to have heard of lyme disease but really don’t know anything about it.  So how is it possible that it is having such an enormous impact on the health of our country?  Here are some other facts…

  • I have Lyme Disease

    Yep, that’s right – I can now officially say it.  After 8 years of being sick, and knowing for the last few months that I do have it, I finally have a document that has the words “POSITIVE” on it as formal proof that I have it. Is it really that important?  Well – yes…

  • 7 Things NOT to Say to a Lymie

    I know that people generally say things out of love and that comments made about lyme disease are not intended to be hurtful, but sometimes words intended in love can bring heartache and make a person feel so alone and misunderstood. I have heard from other lymies that they too have been crushed by similar…

  • Giving Up the Fight

    I have been making a lot of decisions lately about the way I structure my life – well, to be honest, God is making those decisions for me and then letting me come to terms with it. And if I’m gonna really lay it all out there – I haven’t always been willing to go…

  • Where Is The Love?

    Disclosure: As I started to write this post in my mind, it occurred to me that my words could be taken as offensive to people, so I want to start by stating 2 things: This is not about you. This is something God has convicted ME of doing. So in the words of an old,…

  • TMJ

    When we were kids, my brother would ask, “Does your face hurt?” I would answer “no, why?” He would reply “because it’s killing me!” I can’t stop thinking about that today, because my face actually does hurt. A whole lot! I have had TMJ for years but it has never been more than a minor…

  • A Year of Treatment

    This is what a years worth of treatment looks like.  More than 50 IV bags, countless pills, powders, and drips.  Is it worth it?  Yes. It most definitely is. I remember a year ago when I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming from pain that felt like a knife in my…

  • One Good Day

    Friday.  Yes, Friday was a good day.  Don’t get me wrong – emotionally, spiritually, and usually mentally, most days are good.  But physically – well, that’s a different story.  If you’ve read my previous posts, you know the pain and weakness I suffer on a daily basis.  But I wonder how many people really understand…

  • Strange Things…

    …like the feeling that a long, fat needle just stabbed me in the heal of my foot and is lodged deep into the bone.

  • Communicating With A Lymie – Do’s and Don’ts

    Disclaimer: I do a disclaimer when I am about to say things that may come across the wrong way. This is not directed at anyone specifically – it’s really just general thoughts I’ve had over the last few years and now see happening to others as well. I am hoping that what I write here…