I’ve grown accustomed to feeling like crud. At the same time, I’m constantly reading that I should only think positive thoughts like “I am getting well”.

The body has an amazing ability to heal itself and the mind has an amazing ability to convince the body that it is in fact recovering. But what happens when years go by and you’re still too sick to function?

I’ve been sick for almost 17 years and disabled for 9. How do I convince my mind to think “I am getting well” when my body continually reminds me year after year that I’m still very sick? How do I think “I feel well” when I’m curled up in pain, or throwing up, or can’t walk because I’m too dizzy?

Balancing positive thought with the reality of sickness is a difficult dance. I want to be well – I am hopeful that I will get well. But right now, I’m sick and I’m just not going to say otherwise.

So what does positive talk mean? Does it really mean that I have to act like I’m not sick?

I don’t think it does. I think acknowledging that you can get better is important. I think if you continually believe you will never get better, then you probably won’t.

But I also believe in acknowledging your emotions no matter what they are. One of my favorite sayings is “it’s ok to have a pity party, just don’t unpack and live there”.

If your sad – cry.

If your angry – throw something (maybe something soft like a pillow).

If your devastated – mourn.

Give yourself time to feel your negative emotions. And then give yourself time to find something positive to focus on.

Think about it this way. If you lose a limb, positive thinking won’t make it grow back. It’s ok to grieve that loss. But do you want to live in despair the rest of your life? NO! At some point, you want to get back to living. You want to find joy again. You want to feel useful. You want to feel valuable. So you learn how to function without that limb. It takes time and no doubt your emotions will fluctuate as you work through trying to live without it.

It’s the same with chronic sickness. Acknowledge that life isn’t what it used to be. Grieve that loss. And then work toward finding your new place in life. Whatever that may be.

For me, the joy of living lies in simple (often brief) moments: coffee with my family; writing these blog posts; a couple weeks ago, I planted seeds for our garden; and when I can, I do laundry, baking, shopping, stretching, even just taking all my supplements is a win.

None of this is life changing – but for me, it’s important to acknowledge that sometimes, just sometimes, I can do something other than lay in bed feeling awful.

Be true to yourself – be honest with your emotions – and take the win (no matter how small it may be).