Choose to Find Joy

Years ago, one of my closest friends was in a deep pit of depression. She suffered so deeply and it hurt to know she was in so much pain.  Yes - depression is painful. It cuts deep into the heart and can steal your entire life. I started writing a devotional for her about joy.…

Neck and Head Pain

I have had consistent neck and head pain for 6 years, and intermittently (often daily) for 13 years. I have multiple herniated discs, spinal cord narrowing and compression, and bone spurs - none of which are severe enough for surgery but all of which can and do cause incredible pain, not just in the neck;…

The deep dark feelings of chronic sickness – Embarrassment

Embarrassed. Humiliated. Frustrated. Angry. Heartbroken. Alone. The feelings that come with being chronically sick are not easy. In fact, they're often so overwhelming that it can be impossible to get well. Today has been both physically and emotionally challenging. We are traveling and everywhere we go, there is chaos - too many people, too much…

The Best Things Happen By Chance

My least favorite interview questions are the ones about plans. "What’s your 5 year plan?" "Where do you see yourself in 10 years?" Good grief - I don’t know where I’m gonna be at the end of the day! Don't get me wrong - it makes sense that we should plan for the future, to…

HOPE: LLMDs and other amazing people

You have read my rants about doctors in the general medical industry and my frustration with their lack of compassion and understanding. If you weed through my posts, you will also find glimpses of interactions with doctors who genuinely care and who truly listen. When I first started seeing doctors at Stanford in 2013, I…

I Am One

I've lost several friends in recent years to cancer - and I've seen friends battle and fight and suffer that cruel disease. I have nothing but respect for anyone who has been in that trench. I do not discount the terror that comes with a cancer diagnosis. It is horrible, it is painful, it is…

Head Above Water

Some days my sickness is only as deep as my knees. I may have a mild headache, a little joint pain, and maybe some nausea...but I'm able to get out of the house, go to the store, cook a meal, spend time with my family and maybe even do a little laundry. This is a…

We Are Not Normal – and that’s ok

Every aspect of the chronically ill life is vastly different from the healthy life. And with those differences comes a feeling that we are not "normal". And we're not! And that's ok. It's what we do with the minutes of our abnormal life that counts. Every night, every person on the planet lays down, closes…