You would think my hardest days are the ones when I am curled up in a ball in bed, crying in pain and throwing up. They’re not.

The hardest days are the ones when I’m stuck in bed with mild symptoms – headache, nausea, fatigue and weakness.

On those days, it’s the mental battle that crushes me. On those days, I feel like I’m failing, I feel worthless, I feel helpless, I feel hopeless. On those days – I am simply disgruntled.

On horrible days, I know better days are coming. But on the mild days, I realize this could be the best there is and I know any moment, anything I do could push me into a downward spiral.

The battle to stay positive, to be hopeful, to find encouragement is the hardest battle I face. The key to winning that battle is acknowledging the challenges for what they are and recognizing the victories, no matter how small.

Gruntled: satisfied, pleased, contented

There are chairs at my doctors office that recline into anti-gravity positions. Most are electric, but a couple are manual, requiring the person sitting there to use core muscles to recline or sit up. I used to require help with that – but on my last visit, I could do it myself.

Maybe that sounds silly, but it truly gives me hope knowing I can do it on my own. It shows that I’m getting stronger.

Tasks like braiding my hair, open a soda can or walking across the room without losing breath are not taken for granted – those make me feel empowered. Those things give me hope.

To be gruntled is to be satisfied, pleased, content. It’s impossible to be gruntled when I am focused on the things I can’t do.

Whatever your battle is today – take your eyes off the problems, the challenges, the failures. Focus on the victories, however small they are – and let yourself be encouraged, be gruntled.