Yesterday was a decent day, in spite of the overwhelming chaos – maybe it was just the adrenaline, I don’t know, but I was up a good portion of the day and I wasn’t in horrible pain, so I’ll call that a win.

Today I woke up with lots of pain, extreme fatigue and just feeling sick – sick to my stomach and that overall yucky feeling you get with the flu.

This is the story of my life – the ups and downs feel a lot like a teeter totter. It’s scary sometimes, it’s nauseating sometimes, it’s exciting sometimes. But most of the time, I just want off the ride.

Don’t read too much into that. I just mean that it can be a little much to handle being on this ride every day. I desperately want it to calm down – not too high, not too low, just somewhere in between so I can take a break for a while.

Maybe that’s where the ultimate treatment lies, learning to avoid the highs and lows. Maybe that’s where living lies.