I learned as a young adult that I wasn’t built for mundane work. I was never gonna make it as a line worker or really in any career where the job entailed doing the same thing every day.

I stumbled into construction and it worked for me. Projects lasted roughly a year and then I was on to something new.

Later in my career I became a safety specialist. Every day was different. And I loved that.

When I became disabled, I focused for several years on learning all I could about my sickness. Then I learned all about alternative treatments. Covid hit and I dove into learning all about that. My point is – I jump from thing to thing, even when I’m sick.

Recently I’ve realized that I’m ADD.

I’m 55 and just learning this. How is that possible? Well – I made my ADD qualities work for me and they were a benefit to my chosen career. But in the process, I’ve also hidden a lot of who I am because I felt like I wasn’t really like other people.

I chocked it up to personality and working in a man’s industry. But that’s not it at all.

Neurodivergent “refers to people whose thought patterns, behaviors, or learning styles fall outside of what is considered normal”. ADD, ADHD, autistic, Tourette’s, dyslexic are all neurodivergent.

In our society, we work so hard to fit in. I remember trying to be like everyone else in school – but I always felt different somehow. I felt like I didn’t understand anyone – and they didn’t understand me.

So now – I’m learning about me. I’m also acutely aware of the cognitive challenges I have with Lyme+. Sometimes it can be hard to sort out what’s “normal”, what’s ADD, and what’s cognitive disfunction.

And at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is how I manage whatever challenge I’m facing.

This morning I was struggling to figure out something. It was an easy task – it just requires a little thought. People kept talking and my ADD brain got distracted. Which is normally no big deal. But todays cognitive dysfunction made it impossible to just pick up where I left off. I had to start over to get to the same point. And then someone would talk again.

Historically this is where I would panic and give up. But I’m learning that sometimes it’s ok to walk away, take a minute and recoup.

Because I need that.

If you’re neurodivergent, have cognitive dysfunction, or both – find what works for you. Listen to your body – what do you need? Take a break. Take a walk. Close your eyes. Cover your ears. Take deep breaths – or shallow ones. Whatever you need – do that.

Because you need it.