It's not enough to just survive. One of the most frustrating things about this illness is not knowing what triggers a crash. It's all guesswork! I started new meds, I visited a place that I believe had mold, the weather changes, moon changes, dormant disease popping up - my body reacts to all of this.…
Fight Like Hell!
Thoracic Outlet Symdrome (TOS) is a group of conditions that essentially affect the nerves or veins flowing through the upper thoracic down into the arms and hands. I know I shouldn’t be surprised when pain hits me, especially any pain stemming from the spine - nonetheless, it caught me off guard today. Ironically, I was…
Under Counting Lyme Disease
Lymedisease.org article I’ve been diagnosed with multiple tick diseases. The CDC does not include my illnesses in their counts. What do COVID19 and LYME have in common? The government won’t allow proper diagnosis or treatment of either. None of us need be sick. But here we are. It’s time to be angry. It’s time to…
God is still God
This photo was taken 7 years ago. I was at Stanford Medical Center getting bi-weekly lidocaine infusions. The infusions helped reduce pain - but my body began slowly rejecting it. My last injection ended with me being super loopy and slurring my words. It was a horrible time of life - pre-diagnosis, bed-ridden & using…
You’re Beautiful…
God has been dropping bits of encouragement on my life today - it's been more of an "in your face" kind of message that the fight is not over yet (FK&C). If you are feeling defeated right now, if your pain is too much to bear, if like me you are feeling fat and ugly…
Stress and Chronic Complex Illness
Monday night I participated in a meeting to discuss some issues affecting our community. Because of the seriousness of these issues and my tenacious and overly passionate personality, the whole thing was highly stressful for me. Stress is bad for the body - we know this. But it’s particularly bad for people with chronic complex…
Drowning
This represents so clearly how many Lyme patients feel when they are dismissed by doctor after doctor after doctor. I don’t know the exact number of doctors I’ve seen over the years but it’s well over 30...maybe 40 or 50. Many have told me that I’m not sick because my labs are normal. It took…
20 Seconds of Insane Courage
“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”Benjamin Mee, We Bought a Zoo I’m stepping out in faith right now trusting that God will move mountains in my community. This wildfire is spreading…
The Teeter Totter
Yesterday was a decent day, in spite of the overwhelming chaos - maybe it was just the adrenaline, I don’t know, but I was up a good portion of the day and I wasn’t in horrible pain, so I’ll call that a win. Today I woke up with lots of pain, extreme fatigue and just…
Are You Not Feeling Well?
A few days ago, someone asked me “are you not feeling well?” My response was bitter and critical - and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. This is not an uncommon question - but sometimes it catches me off guard and I’m pretty sure my response can be a little curt. It is not their…
PhilippiJoy 