Thoracic Outlet Symdrome (TOS) is a group of conditions that essentially affect the nerves or veins flowing through the upper thoracic down into the arms and hands.

I know I shouldn’t be surprised when pain hits me, especially any pain stemming from the spine – nonetheless, it caught me off guard today. Ironically, I was laying on the table in the physical therapists office after he had just spent 20 mins working on my neck and upper thoracic.

Literally – just – laying – there. Face down, waiting for electrical stimulation and heat. And bam! Pain. It hurts. A lot. So I’m laying here trying my best not to breathe wrong – not to move my head left or right. Just lay still.

These are the moments when I just want to cry. I was awake at 4am this morning – trying to be quiet while my family slept. I had energy, pain was low and I got my hopes up. Maybe today would be a day I could clean, garden, organize. Just get things done.

It still catches me off guard. It still breaks my heart.

I don’t tell you this to discourage you or make you feel sorry for me. I tell you this because I want you to know that no matter what this body throws at me – I am stronger and more committed to healing than ever.

I am excited about new therapies that may be available in the not too distant future. For now – we just continue to take it one day at a time.

And fight like hell.