Last night, my husband and I celebrated our 13th anniversary in Monterey. We walked down Cannery Row, shot lasers at treasure chests in an underground cavern, and had dinner at a fabulously quaint vegetarian and gluten free restaurant (a rare find) where two musicians played guitar and sang as if they were having a jam session with friends. I was even talked into taking the lead on Danny’s Song (which was both terrifying and exhilarating).

It’s times like that I forget how sick I am. The adrenaline – the energy – the lessened pain – they all convince my body that I’m ok.

Then I came home (back to the RV) and crawled into bed and everything changed.

Last night became one of the hardest nights I’ve had in a while. Insomnia, pain and numbness down the entire right side of my body overwhelmed me.

I spent a couple hours getting up, moving around, stretching my hip and shoulder trying to loosen the joints and lessen the irritation. I binged West Wing and played games on my phone to try to block my brain from focusing on my body. And eventually I found a position that was comfortable enough to sleep for a few hours.

This is Lyme+. This is tickborne disease. This is multi-systemic infectious disease syndrome. This is just infuriating.

I can usually live with the little things. For example: earlier in the day I rolled a little essential oil mixture onto parts of my skin – something I’ve used frequently – only to have a sudden outbreak of a raised red rash. From time to time my throat gets tight or my knee locks up when I’m walking or my hands get numb when I’m brushing my hair. Things just happen and I know it just is.

But then something majorly disrupts life, like this bout of insomnia and pain and numbness, or chest pain, or massive itchy rashes, or migraines, or…or…or…

I get sad, frustrated, whiny, pouty and I’m reminded through my pity party that God is faithful – this time, by Greg Lawrie and believe it or not, Lady Gaga (Stefani).

So thank you Father for this pain and suffering. I don’t know why, but I do know He allows it for a reason and that through it, He will be glorified.

God is still God.

God is still good.

To Him be the glory.

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If you happen to be in the Monterey area on a Monday, go have dinner at Julia’s Vegetarian Restaurant – and ask to sit in the back room so you can listen to Andrea Carter.

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I was at a thrift store when I heard a voice softly mumbling “Lord help me” from around a a corner. I poked my head behind the shelves to find a 69 year old woman picking up shoes that a little girl pulled off the shelves playing as long as she could. Her eyes told her story – she was tired, weary. But determined.

She came from Las Vegas to participate in a year long addiction recovery program. She quit cold turkey because she has 18 grandchildren (of every color – her words). She wants to watch them grow up, and she wants them to see her not as a junkie, but as a loving grandmother.

If she can do that, I can do this.

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